Home Hunt Humorist Pillows

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Mouse real estate!

Shakespeare Ave

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'Can I see your license,please?'

Carpet Cows

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'