Rancher Gifts

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."

'Pay back time on the ranch'

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"For economy of scale I'm thinking we should drive two cows to dodge city.''

"First we get a bunch of cows."

Don't laugh. Meat and milk production is up 50%.

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

'Down a few volts yet Harry!'

"At this time, we would like to welcome all platinum priority members to board."

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'You know, Doc, we always do our own dehornin' and castratin' here, but we thought we'd give you a chance this time.'

"You're going to have to do something about your vehicle's emissions."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

Father & Son Bulls

'He's at that tender age between veal and filet mignon.'

'I love herd mentality, don't you?'

"Yippee - I - O. Over?"

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

Cowboy philosophy.

Tattoo removal - cow has 'Eldorado rance' on his backside.

The world's first riding lawn mower.

'Zeke, round up a posse and don't forget ethnic and gender diversity.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Your barn door's open.'

How Cows Psych Themselves Up

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

'I told you the electric fence would come in handy.'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, I'm driving.'

Happiness is doing what you love!"