Railway Historian Humor Gifts

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Latest Railway Marvel.

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

"You look good for your age."

Adam and Eve

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

Trainspotters.

"Okay, but I'd like a charity receipt for my taxes."

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

Ridiculed for arriving in Washington in private jets, the Big Three auto CEOs found a more humble way to travel.

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

"Before you do that, let me check the extinction date."

"Oh, those are the lobbyists who get us our government subsidies."

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

"History's greatest monster: General Tso or Colonel Sanders?"

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

Eurostar: In Emergency No Deal Brexit Break Window

In the event of emergency, break glass gently.

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

Policeman Falling Off Bicycle

'You'll be Standard Class, Sir?'

"No, this bus doesn't have a 'business class.'"

An officer purchasing a train ticket

Wedding of General Phil Sheridan

'Doctor, I need help.'

Early secret agents.

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."

"I guess that's the non stopper then."