Railway Humor Gifts

Platform Position Plan

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

King Commute.

Fare Evader

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Replacement Bus Service

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

'I love the leg room.'

Desert Island Cycle Path

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

'You don't actually believe you are going to catch a train?!'

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

Metrognome

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

The Jitney 'Cross The Styx

Hip skater sees commuters on skateboard.

In the event of emergency, break glass gently.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the Hop and the Duke of Earl."

"Sorry, we don't go to the middle, yet."

Autumn of Discontent

"No, this bus doesn't have a 'business class.'"

'Would you please stop reading over my shoulder!'

'This is less stress than riding in the little clown cars.'

Jolly for Jones.

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."