Railway Humor Lovers Gifts

'The delayed train has much improved suspension air conditioning and a five star buffet, happy now?'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Fare Evader

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

'Intermodal' cargo train carrige hurtling through space

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

Ridiculed for arriving in Washington in private jets, the Big Three auto CEOs found a more humble way to travel.

Replacement Bus Service

"Oh, those are the lobbyists who get us our government subsidies."

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

'I love the leg room.'

'Just give me everything you've got.'

Metrognome

'Did you get it's number?'

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

The Jitney 'Cross The Styx

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

Eurostar: In Emergency No Deal Brexit Break Window

Hip skater sees commuters on skateboard.

'But you kept saying the rhythm was gonna get you.'

In the event of emergency, break glass gently.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the Hop and the Duke of Earl."

"Sorry mate, last train's gone."

"Sorry, we don't go to the middle, yet."

'This is less stress than riding in the little clown cars.'

Jolly for Jones.