Railway Humor Lovers Pillows

'The delayed train has much improved suspension air conditioning and a five star buffet, happy now?'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

'Intermodal' cargo train carrige hurtling through space

Fare Evader

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

'Hi I'm on the train...still'

Huge lady lady sitting down on a crowded bus

Replacement Bus Service

"Oh, those are the lobbyists who get us our government subsidies."

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

'I love the leg room.'

Hip skater sees commuters on skateboard.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the Hop and the Duke of Earl."

'Did you get it's number?'

In the event of emergency, break glass gently.

Metrognome

'Just give me everything you've got.'

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

The Jitney 'Cross The Styx

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

"Sorry, we don't go to the middle, yet."

Jolly for Jones.

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."

'This is less stress than riding in the little clown cars.'