Railway Mishap Humor Pillows

'Doctor, I need help.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

A Not So Grand Slam.

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'How was my emergency stop?'

Cotton candy

"I can help you - I'm a para-legal."

"And hold the mayo."

'It doesn't work...'

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Of course you can't understand a word he says, he's the station tannoy announcer.'

"Well done!"

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

Speed Limit

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

Dinosaur crossing sign.

Mobile library.

In the event of emergency, break glass gently.

Rail PLC - 'We're investing in bottlenecks.'

Metrognome

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

Speed laws enforced by gawkers at accidents.

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."

"I guess that's the non stopper then."

'Ah! ... sorry.'

"Now it's broken."