Railway Humor Lover Gifts

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."

"I guess that's the non stopper then."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

HS2

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

A train's dining car is a diner.

The Train to Nowhere

L.A. Transfer

HS2 time bomb...

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

What Holds the Subway Together?

Pound sign on rail tracks.

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

Trainspotting.

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'We apologise for the late arrival of the 9.38 to...'

Credit Mobilier Scandle Rocks the Republican Party

A Dog In A Train Carriage.