Quirky New Mom Gifts

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Whoa

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Where's your nose?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Ugh Not Again!'

The Mothership

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Maternity Hospital

'That kid! He forgot it again!'