Quirky New Mom Pillows

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Mother Nature

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Where's your nose?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Ugh Not Again!'

The Mothership

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

Maternity Hospital

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'