New Mom Enthusiast Gifts

Mother cradling baby.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Open other end

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Ugh Not Again!'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

Moms gone wild

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"Support the head."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."