New Parent Enthusiast Gifts

Mother congratulating her sister on becoming pregnant.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Interior design trends for parents....

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

The No No No's

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Suffering from Cooties?

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"