New Parent Enthusiast Pillows

Mother congratulating her sister on becoming pregnant.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Interior design trends for parents....

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

The No No No's

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."