Newborn Aficionado Gifts

'Front row, second from the right.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Whoa

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Bouncing baby

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Who's a cutey?

Maternity Hospital

Giving Birth

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."