Newborn Aficionado Gifts

'Front row, second from the right.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

Maternity Hospital

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Who's a cutey?

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Triple whammy."