Baby Aficionado Gifts

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Whoa

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

I love my family!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

Lemming mothers

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Giving Birth