Newborn Admirers Gifts

"She’s changed so much since her ultrasound photo."

'The child is very illogical'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Doughboy Dad

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"He looks just like your husband."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

'It's a chicken.'