Newborn Humor Admirer Gifts

'Thank you...and now could I trouble you for a ham on rye?'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

A couple with a new baby

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Funny how they often look like little old men

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Baby FOMO."

'Look, I think she recognised you!'

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'