Newborn Humor Admirer Gifts

'Thank you...and now could I trouble you for a ham on rye?'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

A couple with a new baby

Newborn making the V-sign

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Funny how they often look like little old men

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"Which one is yours?"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

Like Me On Facebook

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Baby FOMO."

'Look, I think she recognised you!'

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'