Baby Humor Aficionado Gifts

Newborn making the V-sign

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"My kid said his first two words and you know what he said; 'I'll sue.'."

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"Baby FOMO."

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Oh, did baby get a boo-boo?"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."