Baby Humor Aficionado Pillows

Lil' Elvis.

Newborn making the V-sign

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

Gangster Babies

"My kid said his first two words and you know what he said; 'I'll sue.'."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Which one is yours?"

"Baby FOMO."

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"Oh, did baby get a boo-boo?"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"