Baby Humor Aficionados Pillows

'People have told me that I bear a striking resemblance to a young Sean Connery.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Gangster Babies

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"Baby FOMO."

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

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"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Which one is yours?"