Baby Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

Baby Virus.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"It's his emotional support animal."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"Funny how they often look like little old men

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

'I don't feel that bad.'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"