Baby Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

Baby Virus.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

Gangster Babies

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Funny how they often look like little old men

'It's not fair 'Bogie'...they took away my video camera...did you ever hear them say anything about not hiding behind the shower curtain and filming visitors on the can?'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

'I don't feel that bad.'

"Which one is yours?"