Baby Humor Fan Pillows

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

"Ahh, mother's milk."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

The Poky Little Pupa.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I need to know who started it."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Maternity Ward

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Chilly baby.

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'

"Sure, Mom, I'll eat first, but then can we discuss my 'overseas adoption'?"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

"Michael, do your dinner."

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

'Which one is yours?'

'My mom invented baths!'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"