Baby Humor Appreciator Pillows

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby on board 2020

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate. I don't understand the way kids today express themselves and communicate.

Is it true kids your age lie 14 times a day? That's outrageous! Yeah, mom. It's sooo off. Good to hear! 14 seems high to me. 8 sounds right.

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Funny how they often look like little old men

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Which one is yours?"

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'