Baby Humor Appreciator Pillows

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Baby on board 2020

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

'I can't talk now Kevin. I'm under house arrest.'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

"Funny how they often look like little old men

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Get a job!? Dude, your daughter and I are working fulltime trying to get you a grandchild!'

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

Ask your mother.