Newborn Humor Fan Gifts

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Honey, Can You Buy Me Some Sanitary Towels?

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

"You went here instead of the maternity ward. Fortunately, we experts in delivery too!"

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'So that's why babies don't have teeth.'

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

Shares in Headache tablets gone up since new baby was born.

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Baby FOMO."

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

Please queue here for contraction service.