Newborn Aficionados Gifts

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'The child is very illogical'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Who's a cutey?

Caution. Slippery when wet.

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges