Newborn Aficionados Gifts

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'The child is very illogical'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

Bouncing baby

Maternity Hospital

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Who's a cutey?

Giving Birth

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"