Newborn Appreciator Gifts

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Baby on board 2020

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Who's a cutey?

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

A couple with a new baby

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"Funny how they often look like little old men

Baby Mums.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Bye bye, comfort zone."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

'There it is, son. It's all yours. Now go and f**k it up!'

"Of course what else would it be?"

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

"Looks like it's someone's birthday...!"

'Look, I think she recognised you!'

Baby Advertising for Milk.

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

'Here comes the proud father, now!'

'Thank you...and now could I trouble you for a ham on rye?'