Expectant Mom Enthusiast Gifts

"Got any cravings?"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Open other end

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Baby name suggestions.