Expecting Enthusiast Gifts

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Whoa

Suffering from Cooties?

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Growth Charts

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!