Expecting Enthusiast Pillows

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Suffering from Cooties?

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Growth Charts

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Crying baby

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Early childhood development

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!