Expectant Mom Gifts

'My husband won't be at the birth and, to be honest, he wasn't at the conception...'

Baby on Board

"They grow up so fast."

'I told you it would be useful.'

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...