Expectant Mothers Gifts

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"Do you know its sexual identity?"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Maternity Ward: Push & Keep Pushing

Out of body experience

Baby Formula, Just Add Water.

A Mother-to-be Boat wearing a Baby arrow here T-shirt saying Dinghy

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

"I want the hatchlings to grow up in a nurturing comet free environment."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

'I told you it would be useful.'

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun