Expecting Mamas Gifts

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"It's wearing me out. Dirty clothes, fussy eating..and then with our first baby on the way."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.