New Mom Gifts

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Gucci, Gucci, Gucci."

'Ugh Not Again!'

"Just a sec honey...Mommy has to cut this up into little pieces, so the vacuum can pick it up easier."

"I know the baby is in here somewhere."

'I think I understand. You and I are a team and mum is the coach!'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Hobbies? Feeding you takes up all my time.'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

Mother and baby meets kangaroo and baby.

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"You're tired? HELLO, what about me? I haven't slept since I was born!"

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

Why there are moms

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

Kid to mom about baby: 'Was there any assembly required?'

"Who's my little content creator?"

"Alexa picked it out."

"Aww, honey, why the angry emoticon?"

"I bottle fed my two."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'This is a worry. No dipstick to measure how much milk is left.'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'I'm so good at this."

'That's strange. No ingredient labelling anywhere!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'So mum's going back to work. Do you have to go too??'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Jehovah's wet nurses

Cereal Killer