New Mom Adventures Gifts

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"I see you've had breast implants."

'Back so soon?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

Fitness Programme for babies

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

'Ugh Not Again!'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

Moms gone wild