New Mama Gifts

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Interior design trends for parents....

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

The No No No's

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Mother Nature

Whoa

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."