New Mom Friend Gifts

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Whoa

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Fitness Programme for babies

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Ugh Not Again!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

Whoa

'The Fashionable Mamma, or The Convenience of Modern Dress'

Moms gone wild

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'