Mom Life Enthusiast Gifts

Child on a schedule.

"My child has special wants."

"You get in this car and tell me if you can hear a siren."

Working Moms

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Whoa

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Use your inside scream."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

Whoa

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"I read the audio book."

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"If you don't stop doing that, your faces will stick that way!"

The best time capsules are our children.

"I've decided to have a kid."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."