Quirky Homemaker Gifts

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Moving in

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Modern Parents

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

octopus knitting a jumper...

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"Interesting story behind this one..."