Funny Homemaker Gifts

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Hungry child

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

Moving in

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Amy Sedaris

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Modern Parents

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Search for Missing Socks

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'That's the last time I fluff up a nest.'

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."