Playful Homemaker Gifts

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

'I like the en suite, Gerry.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Modern Parents

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'She's just great with the children.'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Werewolves of London..."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Circus Act

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'