Thrill-seeking Homemaker Gifts

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Modern Parents

Child doing the washing up

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Romance over the Irons

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"The first thing about living alone again is not to overdo the chintz."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

Swiss Army Wife

Wallpapering.

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

"It's the latest thing. A solar energy dryer."

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

Rabbits on Pinterest

"It was cute when the cat just played with a ball of wool, but this is getting out of hand!"

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

Beaver cleaning a carpet.

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

'How would you like a whirlpool bath?'

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less