Playful Spouse Gifts

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Mixed Doubles.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Werewolves of London..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Holding hands

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Advanced footsie

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Circus Act

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"