The Playful Partner Gifts

"I thought we said no presents!"

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Advanced footsie

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Boy and his dog

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Puppy Love

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

Consenting Adults.

'Henry, cut that out.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

You are simply the Greatest

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"You complete me."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"