Playful Dater Gifts

"Wanna do lunch?"

"I don't really want a boyfriend right now either. This is purely a Post-VAX thing."

Dating app for bottoms

"You're all arms Rodney."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Isn't that ringtone from the scarecrow song in the Wizard of Oz, if I only had a brain?'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

Mixed Doubles.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Holding hands

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Rude Snowpeople

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Love.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Shuck me.'

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Puppy Love

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

...The origin of the word daisy is from Anglo Saxon 'Daes Eage,' literally meaning 'days eye' because daisies open at dawn.'

'Come on dear, don't be shy: This little she-chameleon just wants to play...'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.