Lighthearted Dater Gifts

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Waterfall of Disappointment

'Do you come here often?'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Wanna go out?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Wanna do lunch?"

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"He's a terrible drunk."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

"So tell me again where you're from."

Tunnel of like

'You must be Olivia.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"You're all arms Rodney."

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Obviously a cry for help.'