Lighthearted Dater Gifts

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Waterfall of Disappointment

'Do you come here often?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"Wanna go out?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Have you been bathing in moonlight?"

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Wanna do lunch?"

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"He's a terrible drunk."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

Tunnel of like

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."