Lighthearted Partner Gifts

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'I don't complain, when you drag me out window shopping, do I?'

Skeleton playing fetch.

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Advanced footsie

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

Shall I be mother?

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

'Do you come here often?'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"Wanna play?"

"You complete me."

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."