Light-hearted Dater Gifts

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"This stool shall pass."

Get crazy once in a while

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

'Do you come here often?'

Preachers with far too much input

"Have you been bathing in moonlight?"

"Wanna go out?"

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Wanna do lunch?"

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"He's a terrible drunk."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"It's face painting Friday."

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"You're all arms Rodney."

Golf ball escaping.

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'Obviously a cry for help.'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

Transporting helium balloons in mid air.

'Yeah, you're probably right: She's not worth fighting over... Wanna do Heads or Tails?'

"Wrong hole!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

I hope I didn't hear you correctly, Lance. Actually, I hope so too, Gloria.