Offbeat Dater Gifts

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Single men in Tahiti

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Wanna do lunch?"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Spud dating.

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"Would you like to buy a commemorative photo of your firing?"

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'You must be Olivia.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Nethead strip: Dates

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'