Intrepid Dater Gifts

Valentines Day.

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

Waterfall of Disappointment

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Don't even think about it!'

Single men in Tahiti

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Wanna do lunch?"

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

Spud dating.

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

'You must be Olivia.'

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

"So tell me again where you're from."

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

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