Dreamy Dater Gifts

Waterfall of Disappointment

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Asking out a palm reader.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

The Bare Minimum

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"You're right. This is better than sex."

Single men in Tahiti

"So much for watching a Jane Austen movie with my date. He kept waiting for the car chase!"

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

True Loves

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'He seems nice.'

'You must be Olivia.'

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"I always pick Mr. Wrong..."

"So tell me again where you're from."

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."